absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
