Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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