Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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