just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am naked and annoyed.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
