Your face is a jimmy john
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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