that's an acceptable place to lick
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I have post one night stand depression
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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