I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
