It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
