what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
