So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
