We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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