Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
