Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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