You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So squirting runs in the family.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
