i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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