kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
