If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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