how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
