Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
