It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
