I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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