so explain again why im purple
no
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
