I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize