I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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