just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize