Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
false alarm. still invincible.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
