If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
