Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she told me i tasted like america
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
