New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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