this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
