i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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