We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
