I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
