i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
