The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
