I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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