wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
zippers are such a cool invention
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
