she smelled like a LAN party
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
