Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
