My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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