I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
