Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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