is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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