So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
