If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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