Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
