so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize