now i know why i became what i already was.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
