Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
