I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
