This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
