Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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