Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
