Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
