Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i think i have two assholes
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
