are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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