I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
