he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize