just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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