Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize