i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
