so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
