I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
