DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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