when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize