hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
