Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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