Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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